Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story Chapter 6

Chapter 6The AnimalsThe twenty-four hours people cal lead them the Animals. The inst both in all manager had micturate into into work iodin sunup to demote one of them hanging, half-naked, from the giant red S of the Safeway sign and the simplicity of them drunk on the roof, pelting him with Campfire marshmallows. The manager yelled at them and called them Animals. They cheered and toast him by spraying beer on each other.There were s charge of them instantly that their leader was gone. They wandered into the store virtually eleven and the manager informed them that they were acquiring a in the alto larnher cabal chief This guy will batter you into shape hes done it all, his application was four pages long.Midnight found the Animals seance on the registers at the front of the store, manduction worries oer a case of Reddi Wip. hunch forward this hotshot from back East, said Simon McQueen, the oldest. Ill throw my fifty cases an hour akin always, and if he wants mo re, he back tooth do it himself. Simon sucked a hit of azotic oxide from the whipped cream can and croaked, He wont last longern a out-of-the-way(prenominal)t on a hot skillet.Simon was twenty-seven, muscular and as wiry-tense as a banjo string. He was pockmarked and sharp-featured, with a great mane of brown hair that he kept out of his face with a bandanna and a minatory Stetson, and he fancied himself a cowboy and a poet. He had never been within six-gun range of a horse or a book.Jeff Murray, a has-been high school basketball star, pulled a can of whipped cream from the open case and said, wherefore didnt they proficient promote one of us when Eddie left?Because they dont hunch forward their ass from a hot rock, Simon said. screw up, he added quickly.They probably did what they thought best, said Clint, a myopic, freshman trimester reborn Christian, who, having recently been forgiven for ten years of drug abuse, was eager to forgive others. quite a teensy up, Simon rep eated to Jeff, who had upended the whipped cream can and was pushing the nozzle. Jeff inhaled a properly stream of whipped cream that filled his let loose and throat, shot from his nostrils, and sent him into a blue-faced choking play.Drew, the crews pot supplier and therefore medical byicer, dealt Jeff a flagitious blow in the solar plexus, causing the ex-power forward to expel a glob of whipped cream approximately the size of a small child. Jeff criminal to the floor gasping. The glob landed safely on register 6. work as full as the Heimlich maneuver Drew grinned without the unwanted intimacy.I told him to hold the can up, Simon said.There was a tap on the shabu at the front of the store and they all cancelled to see a skinny dark-haired kid in jeans and flannel waiting by the locked verge. He wore a price gun low on his the proper way hip.That would be our hotshot.Simon went to unlock the door. Clint grabbed the case of whipped cream and shoved it under a regist er. The others ditched their cans where they could and stood by the registers as if awaiting inspection. They were sensing the end of an era the Animals would be no more. gobbler Flood, the new guy said, offering his arrive at to Simon.Simon did not take his hand, however stared at it until the new guy withdrew it, embarrassed.Im Sime this is Drew. Simon waved the new guy in and locked the door behind him. Well get you a term card.The new guy followed Simon to the office, pausing to reflection at the glob of whipped cream on register 6, thus at Jeff, still gasping on the floor.Can up, the new guy said to Jeff.Simon brocaded an eyebrow to the rest of the crew and led the new guy into the office. part he was digging in the drawers for a fresh time card, the new guy said, So, Sime, do you bowl?Simon looked up and studied the new guys face. This could be a trap. He stepped back and squared off bid a gunfighter at high noon. Yeah, I bowl.What do you use?I give care a twelve-poun d preciselyterball.Net or no net?No net, Simon said.Yeah, nets are for grannies. I akin a fourteen-pound self-basting, myself. Tommy grinned at Simon.Simon grinned back and offered his hand to shake. Welcome aboard. He handed a time card to Tommy and led him out the office. Outside, the crew waited. Dudes, Simon announced. This is Tom Flood.The crew fidgeted and eyed Tommy.Hes a bowler.The crew let out a collective sigh of relief. Simon introduced them each, tagging them each with what they did. Thats Jeff on the floor, cake-mix aisle, plays basketball. Drew, frozen food and budmaster. troy Lee, glass aisle, kung-fu fighter. troy weight Lee, short, muscular, wearing a colored satin jacket, bowed slightly.Clint, Simon continued, cereal and juices hes buddies with God. Clint was tall and thin with curly black hair, thick horn-rims, and a goofy, if beatific, smile.Simon pointed to a stout Mexican in a flannel shirt. Gustavo does the floors and has forty kids.Cinco ninos, Gustavo co rrected.Excuse the fuck out of me, Simon said. Five kids. He moved waste the line to a short, balding guy in corduroys. Barry does soap and dog food. His hair fell out when he started scuba diving.Fuck you, Sime.Save your money, Barry. Simon moved on. This dark-skinned fellow is Lash, dairy and non-foods. He says hes studying business at Frisco State, merely hes really a arms-runner for the Bloods.And Simon wants to be Grand Dragon for the Klan, Lash said.Be good or I wont help you with your masters feces.Thesis, Lash corrected.Whatever.What do you do, Sime? Tommy asked.I am on a quest for the perfect big-haired blonde. She must be a cosmetician and she must be named Arlene, Karlene, or Darlene. She must pose a explode measurement exactly half that of her IQ and she must have seen demigod c put down totime since his death. Have you seen her?No, thats a pretty tall order.Simon stepped up, trespass to nose with Tommy. Dont hold back, Im offering a cash reward and videotape of h er stressful to drown me in body the great unwashedion.No, really, I cant help you.In that case, I work the can aisle.Whens the truck due?Half an hour twelve-thirty. thusly weve got time for a few frames.There are no authorised rules for the sport of bomb calorimeter wheel. Turkey bowling is not recognized by the NCAA or the Olympic Committee. There are no professional tournaments sponsored by the Poultry Farmers of America, and footwear companies do not manufacture turkey bowling shoes. Even the worlds best turkey bowlers have not appeared on a Wheaties box or the Tonight show. In fact, until ESPN became desperate to fill in the late-night time slots between professional lawn darts and reruns of Australian-rules football, turkey bowling was a completely clandestine sport, relegated to the dark athletic basement of mailbox baseball and cow tipping. Despite this lack of official recognition, the fine and noble customs duty of skidding the buzzard is practiced nightly by supermar ket night crews all everywhere the nation.Clint was the official pin determinedter for the Animals. Since there was always wagering, Clints religion forbade his playing, only his participation, in some part, was required to ensure that he would not squeal to the management. He set ten-quart bottles of Ivory liquid in a triangle pattern at the end of the produce aisle. The meat case would act as a backstop.The rest of the crew, having chosen their birds from the freezer case, were lined up at the far end of the aisle.Youre up, Tom, Simon said. Lets see what you got.Tommy stepped forward and weighed the frozen turkey in his right hand-felt its frigid power singing against skin.Strangely, the theme from Chariots of Fire began playing in his head.He squinted and picked his target, then took his steps and sent the bird sliding down the aisle. A collective gasp rose from the crew as the fourteen-pound, self-basting, fresh-frozen roquette of wholesome savory goodness plowed into the soa p bottles like a freight train into a chorus line of drunken grandmothers. incite Clint shouted. Simon winced.Troy Lee said, Nobodys that good. Nobody.Luck, Simon said.Tommy suppressed a smile and stepped back from the line.Whos up?Simon stepped up and stared down the aisle, watching Clint set up the pins. A neuronic tick jittered under his left eye.Strangely, the theme from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly began playing in his head.The turkey was heavy in his hand. He could almost feel the giblet pulsing with tension the Butterball version of the Tell-Tale Heart. He strode to the line, swinging the turkey back in a wide arc, then forward with an detonative yell. The turkey rocketed, airborne, three quarters of the way down the aisle forrader touching down and slamming through the soap bottles and into the base of the meat case, shattering metal and severing wires in a shower of sparks and smoke.The store lights flickered and went out. The bulky compressors that ran the stores refrigeration wound down like dying airliners. The smell of ozone and destroy insulation filled the air. A moment of dark silence the Animals stood motionless, sweating, as if waiting for the deadly sound of an approaching U-boat. Battery back-up modules switched on preventative lights at the end of each aisle. The crew looked from Simon, who stood at the line with his mouth hanging open, to the turkey, sticking, blackened and burned, in the side of the meat case like an unexploded artillery shell.They checked their watches exactly six hours and forty-eight legal proceeding to exact repairs and stock the shelves before the manager came in to open the store. reprieve time Tommy announced.They sat on a row of grocery carts away the store, their backs against the wall, smoking, eating, and, in the case of Simon, telling lies.This is nothing, Simon said. When I was working a store in Idaho, we ran a forklift through the dairy case. two hundred gallons of draw on the floor. Suc ked it up in the Shop-Vac and had it back in the cartons ten proceeding before opening and no one knew the difference.Tommy was sitting next to Troy Lee, trying to get up the courage to ask a favor. For the first time since arriving in San Francisco, he felt as if he fit in somewhere and he didnt want to push his luck. Still, this was his crew now, even if he had padded his application a bit to get the job.Tommy unyielding to dive in. Troy, no offense, but do you speak Chinese?Two dialects, Troy said around a mouthful of corn chips. Why?Well, Im living in Chinatown. I kinda share a show with these five Chinese guys. No offense.Troy clamped a hand over his mouth, as if appalled with Tommys audacity. Then he jumped to his feet into a kung-fu stance, made a Bruce Lee chicken noise, and said, Five Chinese guys living with you? A pasty-faced, round-eyed, child pig dog? Troy grinned and dug in the bag for another(prenominal) handful of chips. No offense.Tommys face heated with embarras sment. Sorry. I just wondered if I mean, I lead an interpreter. Theres some weird shit going on at my place.Troy vaulted back to his seat on the carts. No problem, man. Well go there in the morning when we get off if we dont get fired.We wont get fired, Tommy said with confidence he didnt feel. The union Jesus, Troy disrupt and grabbed Tommys shoulder. Check this out. He nodded toward Fort Mason at the edge of the pose lot. A fair sex was walking toward them. Shes out a little late, Troy said then, to Simon, he shouted, Sime, skirt alert.Bullshit, Simon said, checking his watch. Then he looked in the watchfulness where Troy was pointing. A woman was, indeed, walking across the parking lot toward them. From what he could tell at that distance, she had a nice shape.Simon climbed down from the carts and familiarised his black Stetson. Stand back, boys, that redhead is down here for a reason, and Im packing material that reason right here. He patted his crotch and fell int o an affected bow-legged gait toward the woman.Evening, darlin, you lost or just in search of excellence?Jeff, who was sitting beside Tommy opposite Troy, bent over and said, Simon is the master. That guy gets more pussy than all of the Forty-Niners throw up together.Tommy said, Doesnt look like hes doing that well tonight.They couldnt hear what Simon was saying to the woman, but it was obvious she didnt want to hear it. She tried to walk away from him, and Simon stepped in front of her. She moved in another direction and he discern her off, smiling and chattering the whole time.Leave me alone the girl shouted.Tommy leaped off the carts and ran toward them. Hey, Simon, lighten up.Simon turned and the woman started away. Were just getting acquainted, Simon said.Tommy stopped and put his hand on Simons shoulder. He lowered his voice as if sharing a secret. Look, man, weve got a lot to do. I cant afford to lose you all night while you show this babe the meaning of life. I need your h elp, dude.Simon looked at Tommy as if hed just exposed himself. Really?Please.Simon slapped Tommy on the back. Im on it. He turned back toward the store. Breaks over, dudes. Weve got some wrenching to do.Tommy watched him go, then skint into a run by and by the woman. Excuse meShe turned and eyed him suspiciously, but waited for him to catch up to her. He slowed to a walk. As he approached her he was surprised at just how pretty she was. She looked a little like Maureen OHara in those old pirate movies. His writers mind kicked in and he thought, This woman could break my heart. I could crash and burn on this woman. I could lose this woman, drink heavily, write profound poems, and die in the gutter of atomic number 65 over this woman.This was not an unusual reaction for Tommy. He had it often, mostly with girls who worked the drive-through windows at fast-food places. He would drive off with the smell of fries in his car and the bitter taste of unrequited love on his tongue. It was usually good for at least one short story.He was a little breathless when he reached her. I just wanted to apologize for Simon. Hes hesAn asshole, she said.Well, yes. But Its okay, she said. Thanks for coming to the rescue. She turned to walk away.Tommy swallowed hard. This was why he had come to the City, wasnt it? To take a few risks? To live on the edge. Yes. Excuse me, he said. She turned again. Youre really beautiful. I populate that sounds like a line. It is a line. But but its true in your case. Thanks. Bye.She was smiling now. Whats your name?C. doubting Thomas Flood.Do you work here every night?I just started. But yes, I will be. Five nights a week. Graveyard shift.So you have your days free?Yes, pretty much. Except when Im writing.Do you have a girlfriend, C. Thomas Flood?Tommy swallowed hard again. Uh, no.Do you know where Enricos is on Broadway?I can find it. He hoped he could find it.Ill meet you there tomorrow night, a half hour after sunset, okay?Sure, I gues s. I mean, sure. I mean, what time is that?I dont know I have to get an almanac.Okay then. Tomorrow evening then. Look, Ive got to get back to work. Were sort of in the middle of a crisis.She nodded and smiled.He shuffled awkwardly, then walked away toward the store. Halfway across the parking lot he stopped. Hey, I dont know your name.Its Jody.Nice meeting you, Jody.See you tomorrow, C. Thomas, she called.Tommy waved. When he turned around again, the Animals were all staring at him, slowly shaking their heads. Simon glared, then turned abruptly and stormed into the store.